A REASON TO LIVE
Sailing On
My life, before my accident, was full of days when everything went right. I loved God and the church. I wasn't without faults by any means but I was still trying to do what I thought was His will. I remember praying, "Thank you God for giving me such a great life." I'd built a large ship of faith with a full sail that was safely docked at souls harbor. But my life and my heart needed a dose of reality. As much as I loved Him, I wasn't where He wanted me to be. My life was too easy. I could never learn, never grow, unless I was put in a situation where I had to trust Him. I needed to test my vessel on the high seas. When I dove into that lake, I was leaving the harbor. Now hurricanes have come and my ship is being battered by turbulent waves that, but for the grace of God, would capsize my vessel. There have been times I've felt I'd be better off abandoning ship but what, I thought, would be waiting for me in the abyss? So I choose to sail on and in doing so, I have learned a valuable lesson:
"JOY IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF SUFFERING, BUT THE PRESENCE OF GOD." -unknown
Don't go feeling sorry for me. That's not why I'm publishing this. Good grief! Look at all God has given me! Every now and then, I feel a presence -- not necessarily in a dream or a vision. Sometimes when I am at church and hear or sing a particular song or when I have a special time with my family or friends, my eyes well up and I feel a Love I'd never felt during my life before my accident. I feel so blessed. I remember His promise, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Heb. 13:5 NIV) I do not live for myself. I live for God. I place myself willingly at His mercy because I know if I can just endure the occasional storms of life and schemes of the enemy (which everyone eventually experiences), a day will come when I will reach that Paradise Island shore. The difficult moments will be forever behind me and all that's left will be an eternity of that unspeakable joy in the Land where the Son has risen and life and love never dies.
I have slain the massive giant, and the fear is dead and gone For I've found my joy in Jesus and the will to carry on!
Heaven
I'm so looking forward to heaven. Oh the joy of it! Heaven is such a beautiful concept. Just the mere chance that it exists is worth the price of the act of faith it requires to attain it. The joy that waits for me there is what allows me to have joy now. I feel a bit like Paul when he said,
"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;" (Phil. 1:21-23 NIV)
I look forward to having the chance to give my wife a long awaited and overdo hug. I will put these paralyzed arms around her for the first time and hold her oh so tight! Then I will leave it to God to bless her for the faithful loving care she has given me. For how could I possibly repay her for all she's endured having to be responsible for my every need for 26 years and counting? After Jesus, SHE is the hero of my story. When I think about how much she means to me, not only as a faithful wife but my caretaker as well, I see the value of one who serves. If I knew from the beginning what I know now, I would have led an entirely different life. Everyone should have to spend a season disabled, and learn the value of a servant. Perhaps that is why I became disabled. It is something God wanted me to learn. Hopefully you will learn something from my experience, too.
If you ever have the opportunity to help someone, TAKE IT! For therein will your value lie and your legacy be!
Being A Father
I've often been asked how I go on from day to day. I can answer that in four words: I have A son. It's easy to see why God wants us to call Him Abba, Father. I now have an idea of the joy He feels to hear, "I love you, Dad." because of what it means to me to hear it from my son. When you combine the love of God, my family, and my church, it lightens my burden. And when I learn about how my response to my suffering has helped others when they face their own problems, I recognize my own humble purpose. I'm always aware that there are countless others who are worse off than I am. So I pray for them, that the Spirit of God will carry them as He carries me.
"Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "{Abba,} Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." (Rom.8:14-17 NIV)